Lean In
First published September 18, 2015
I was watching an old episode of Scandal the other night. For those not familiar with the show, it's based on the life of a Washington D.C. woman whose ability to solve complex and often illegal problems within and outside the White House has earned her the title of "Fixer". When she is trying to get her clients out of difficult situations or into some better light, one phrase in particular is often on repeat, "We need to change the conversation."
In this episode, the First Lady is running for Senate, but the last city on the campaign trail was where her son had been murdered in front of her not long before. To add insult to injury, the entire speech drafted on her behalf was about her dead son. Her campaign manager (not the "Fixer") pleads with her about how much these votes are needed, and how discussing this very painful topic would make her more relatable to constituents. All the while the First Lady is wringing her hands in the air because she just can't bring herself to go. She asks her campaign manager how she could be expected to deliver this speech and exploit the death of her son. "I don't want you to exploit the situation," her campaign manager responds. "I just want you to lean into it."
Ouch.
When bad, even tragic things happen in our lives, our response is to turn away from what has hurt us. Nothing could be worse than revisiting a person, a situation, or even a memory that caused us pain. We don't want to lean into that; we want to push it away. We want to create a distance between ourselves and what is causing us to hurt or stay in the past. But sometimes I'm learning, the only way to get past something is to go through it because there's no getting around it. It's true in life, and it's true in work.
I found myself in this situation only a couple years ago. I left a decent job for one that held all the promise of professional fulfillment, career advancement, and financial stability. I quickly learned those promises were empty ones, void of any truth or substance to back them up. My daily professional life was a nightmare. Even though it's been a couple years since I left, it's still difficult to describe how I felt and what I went through. And try as I might, there has been no getting around what resulted from my choice to work there. I have to walk through it.
But I don't want to walk blindly, and I certainly don't ever want any season to be wasted. Regardless of what I'm walking through, I want my eyes wide open and I want to be alert to the possibilities around me. I want to make the most out of the situation I'm in. I want to take something that started out as bad, and turn it into something good. No, great!
This is leaning in.
I could easily shuffle through my days as they turn into weeks and years, doing the bare minimum at my current position and focusing my attention elsewhere. But what if I changed the conversation? Instead of seeing my current position as merely a detour or a stepping stone (which it very well may turn out to be), what if I gave it my full attention? What if I go to work everyday with the idea that I can make a difference no matter where I am?
This was difficult for me at first. The job I took when I left the last one was very different from my previous jobs. I couldn't use much of my prior experience, and instead, was thrust into situations where I had to learn new things. Uncomfortable would be an understatement. I carried a lot of bitterness as a result of what my previous company put me through, and I just wanted what was familiar and to do work I already knew I succeeded at.
Slowly, I began to learn my job - really learn it. I learned it (and am still learning) in a way that not only has me feeling comfortable, but feeling like I can take it to another level - offer suggestions for new ideas, overhaul old processes for new ones with better results, and be creative with my tasks.
When discouragement finds its way to my heart, I'm reminded that leaning in was actually God's idea in the first place. Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters." Long before the choices that got me here were made, He knew there would be times when maybe my heart just wouldn't be in something. But that doesn't mean I can't give it my all, because even if I don't receive credit for it, even if no one sees, and even if it feels so far from the work I love doing - He sees and He knows, and I do good work because good is the only thing my work should be. Otherwise, there's no point.
So, if you answer phones all day - answer them with a smile on your face. The person on the other end of the phone will hear it in your voice. Be the friendliest and most helpful you can be. Even if you don't have the answers; go find them. If your job entails ordering food and delivering it, you enjoy that drive and time out of the office. Maybe strike up a conversation with whoever you purchase the food from. If you spend your days in a copy room compiling handouts for a meeting - show your boss how efficient you can be. Finish that copying before it's expected, and while you're at it, leave that copy room cleaner than you found it.
I can encourage you in this because I have been there myself. Through all the mundane and monotonous, there is joy to be found in giving something your best. And who's to say that the work that doesn't make sense to you now isn't preparing you for greater responsibility later? Maybe your sales numbers are too low to bother counting, but maybe you are gaining ground in leading or multitasking or something else that can't be measured on a resume, but is invaluable to an employer.
If you find yourself in a work situation that is less than desirable or not what you thought, don't shy away. Don't keep yourself at a distance from it. Dive in head first. Learn all you can. Get so good at it that you can be proud. Get so close to it that your perspective changes.
Lean all the way in.
I Get To Do This
First published September 7, 2015
Up until a couple months ago, I had two jobs. I worked my 9-5, and then headed off to another office to work some more. My part time job consisted of administrative work for someone who had been my boss a couple jobs ago. A few nights a week I would make the 20 minute commute and take care of whatever she left for me to take care of.
The work was not glamorous. I didn't always feel a sense of accomplishment. I mostly felt exhausted from the 10 hours of work resting on my shoulders. Not wanting to wait that late to eat dinner, I would pack it with me and eat it planted in front of a computer screen.
Sometimes, it felt tiresome and, to be honest, beneath me. I have a college degree. Why am I always working? Why am I doing *this* kind of work? But several months before the job came to an end, I had this thought:
It's not that I "have to" do this, it's that I "get to" do this.
Sure, I had to make another commute while everyone else was going home, but how awesome was it that I could walk into an empty office with no one there to bother me? No, the work was not glamorous, but after a hectic day at job #1, how great was it to have work I didn't really need to think too hard about? Yes, sometimes it meant skipping something else I wanted to do, but it also meant extra money I wasn't making at my full-time job.
For every way that people could describe the situation as negative, I could point to something that made it a wonderful opportunity for me, while it lasted. In this economy, where some people can't even find one job, I was blessed to say I had two.
Whether it's to make ends meet, or because you're saving for something extra special, remember to count it as a blessing, no matter how frustrating it can be at times, because it's an opportunity not everyone gets to take advantage of.
I’m (Not) Sorry
First published September 7, 2015
Women apologize for too many things at work that they have no business being sorry for.
There. I said it. And I'm not sorry.
Do you ever stop to think about the number of times that phrase comes out of your mouth at work? I do. I'm sorry for knocking on the office door, even though it's time for our meeting. I'm sorry for requesting time off, even though I have more than enough time to cover it. I'm sorry for sharing my opinion in a meeting, even though it's *my job* to have an opinion on the topic. I was hired to have an opinion on the topic. I get paid - to have an opinion on the topic, and to bring my expertise and experience in general to wherever I'm working.
And still, we apologize. A lot. If we aren't saying "I'm sorry", we're probably doing something that shows we are, like taking on more work that we can handle so as not to rock the boat.
Why are we sorry? Is it because we have genuinely done something wrong? I'm going to venture it's because, unlike many men, we don't feel empowered enough to be standing where we are and doing what we're doing.
We don't want to be a bother or a burden. We don't want to step up or speak out. For so many years, a woman's place was in the home, and although much has changed over the years, I don't know that we ever really gave ourselves permission to take our places in the work force, if that is where we want to be. I also think this sentiment is not just something we struggle with - it's evident nationwide.
On average, full-time working women earn just 77 cents for every dollar a man earns. So, even if we don't feel the need to apologize for ourselves, the rest of the world does it for us by paying us less to do the same job (and in most instances, probably to do it just as well.)
Being a career-focused woman myself and also a Christ follower, I used to wonder if my apologies, whether in words or actions, were rooted in something bigger - like maybe I wasn't supposed to be reaching for success in my career. That was until I came across something interesting in Proverbs 31. This chapter of the Bible discusses what a Godly woman should be like, describing her as "the wife of noble character". She cooks, she cleans, she makes clothes, she takes care of her husband and her children, and is the epitome of patience and grace.
And then I get to verses 16-18: "She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night."
It seems this Proverbs 31 woman - this wife of noble character - in addition to being a great homemaker, was also quite the little business woman. You go girl!
With everything she accomplished, both at home for her family *and* in her work, I don't read anything about her shrinking back from earning money or making profitable trades. And she certainly wasn't apologizing for being good at all of it.
Being a woman in today's workplace, I always want to walk the fine line between bringing grace and kindness to those around me and being firm and speaking my mind when necessary. Sometimes conversations might be difficult to have. Sometimes, I might have to repeat myself or change the way I'm saying something to get my point across. I also want to keep pursuing areas where I know I succeed and I want to keep doing good work.
It won't always be easy to find my place or make my way, but regardless of the circumstances, I will have worked hard to get where I'm headed in my career. I will have made sacrifices and I will have given my all.
I'm not going to be sorry for that.
The Liebster Award
First published September 2, 2015
I launched my blog this past Sunday. Today (Tuesday), I was nominated for the Liebster Award!
The Liebster Award is given to new bloggers, usually those with less than 200 followers, by other bloggers as a way to support one another as we grow our blogs.
I want to thank Mandie Wickham for nominating me. Definitely check out The Yellow Dog and Pink Pig. She's got a little something for everyone!
While it may seem like this all came together quickly, it's been a very long time in the making, as most good work is. A career choice I made a few years ago left me feeling disillusioned and not quite sure of myself. At a conference I recently attended I stumbled upon this obscure little sign tucked away in a corner near registration. It read, "All my yesterdays gave me today."
I instantly thought of Romans 8:28 - And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Yes, you have been called and yes, you have a purpose.
It might take a long time and it might mean walking through some difficult circumstances, but then - usually suddenly and all at once - things will begin to fall into place and start to make sense again. It can sometimes take years of yesterdays until you reach your today. I may still be brand new at this, and nothing may ever come of it, but just starting this blog was the culmination of a lot of yesterdays for me.
Moving on to my nomination, these are the questions Mandie asked me to answer:
1. What is the name of your blog and what is it’s significance? - My blog is called Good Work. When you think about the number of hours in a day, most of them are spent at work. I want this to be a place women feel comfortable talking about their professional lives, while I also share my experiences and stories. I also wanted to create a space that allows us all to share our passions and our successes - it's great to love what you do!
2. What would be the title of your autobiography? - Great question! You have me stumped. When I write it, I'll let you know. :-)
3. What is one thing you cannot live without? - Water! I usually aim for 8-10 glasses a day. It's an absolute must to keep me running on all cylinders.
4. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Your blog? - I hope I continue to have opportunities to do good work - both full-time in my career, as well as volunteering. My passion is public relations, but it feels so much better when I'm using it to help people. I would also love to have a family. As for my blog, I would like to see how the first month goes (haha). Obviously, it would be wonderful if it grew, although I don't think I could make it my full-time job. I need to be in an office with people.
5. What movie star would you want to cast as yourself? - Probably either Cameron Diaz or Reese Witherspoon. I love their spunkiness and they both have a great sense of humor.
While I want to encourage all you new bloggers to keep pursuing your passion, there are a few I want to nominate for this award. They are:
Abby - Get Out Dear
Stephanie - Sense of Sunny
Chrissa - Physical Kitchness
Ladies, here are some questions I have for you:
What made you want to start your blog?
What has given you the most sense of accomplishment and why?
What is one thing you love to do in your down time?
If you could give advice to someone who is about to start a blog, what would it be?
If your best friend had to pick one word to describe you, what would it be?
Each of these ladies inspired me differently as I explored their blogs, and I encourage you to visit their sites and leave them some love for all the good work they're doing!
Abby, Stephanie, and Chrissa - there are a few guidelines if you would like to nominate someone:
Post your nomination to your blog.
Answer the questions asked by the person who nominated you.
Nominate a small group of other new bloggers.
Ask them several questions.
Don't forget to give a shout out to the person who nominated you.
Thanks again to Mandie for your nomination! I'm excited about this new adventure and seeing where it may lead!
The Beautiful Boundary
First published August 28, 2015
It's always just one more. Just one more e-mail. Just one more phone call. Just one more task to cross of the to-do list. As if that list will somehow magically disappear by morning light. I assure you, it won't.
We've all been there - maybe this describes you or someone you work with. I know it used to be me. For some reason I'm not really sure of, enough was never enough. It's as if I had to push myself to the edge - but for what, I'm not really sure.
The truth is, it somehow made me feel good to go until the point of burn out. Doing good work just wasn't enough. But then I almost went through a lay off, and everything changed. I was told I no longer had a job. Three weeks later the contract was renegotiated and I got to keep my job. Despite being able to stay, my mindset shifted tremendously. Suddenly, it didn't seem to matter what I did or how mentally exhausted I made myself to do it. I was just a number. And my whole perspective changed. I'm proud to say in the few years since that happened, I look at things a lot differently.
It's not that I don't value doing good work, it's just that now I put that same high price on myself.
Recently I've been embracing this idea of the beautiful boundary. It's this imaginary line I draw around myself, my time, and my energy. Do you ever notice that everything somehow always manages to come together at the end of a project? It's just a matter of how we arrive when it does. Are we frazzled and not able to enjoy the fruit of our labor because we're so burnt out? Or, do we reach the finish line feeling exhilarated and fully able to relish in our success because we have paced ourselves?
When I remind myself that I am doing everything I need to, I don't have to succumb to the voices in my head that tell me I have to rush, or to the co-workers around me that may be stirring up unsettling energy. With every project and deadline that dots my calendar I make my lists, I follow through, and I recognize there will be bumps along the way or issues that I may not anticipate, but I just keep moving forward.
If an e-mail comes through after a certain point in the day, I will write back the next day. If the phone rings before I leave the house in the morning, that's too bad because that's my time. If a text lights up my phone Sunday morning while I'm in church, it will go unanswered.
And I feel amazing.
Not only do I feel like I am more efficient (because I am), but I'm also less stressed. The call, the text, the frantic-sounding e-mail is only an emergency if I make it one. Practice it sometime and see how it feels. It might take some getting used to. I know it did for me at first. But, the more I stayed within my boundaries, the easier it became until now it's basically second-nature. I assess what's really at stake and then I have two choices: I can choose to become a knotted stress ball trying to jump on whatever it is instantaneously, or I can choose to let whatever it is take it's rightful place on my list, or let it keep until morning. Sometimes the urgent issue of the hour happens during business hours, but again, just because someone else is declaring it's the end of the world, doesn't mean the end is coming.
Now, if I had a job where someone's life depended on my response, that would be a different story. Or, if I took an extremely large salary with the understanding that a fax might come through at 3:00 am, that's different too. I'm not saying to abandon responsibilities you may have agreed to. What I am saying is that for most of us, nothing life-altering is riding on our shoulders.
So carry on knowing you are doing your best. And it is enough. Don't be afraid to ignore communication from work when you're off the clock. Not everything is an emergency. Don't be swayed by those who have no boundaries. Draw yours and feel the power and freedom that comes when you stay within them.
The Interview
First published August 26, 2015
Oh, the job interview. The search for the ideal work combined with just the right benefits and an oh-so-perfect salary that finally leads to an in-person meeting. What we put ourselves through in order to stand out in the crowd. We tweak our resume to highlight the experience and accomplishments that match the job description. We craft a cover letter that shines a spotlight on our incredible abilities. We smile and say all the right things. We're friendly, but not too familiar.
And then come the questions designed to determine if we are the right fit. The interesting thing about this is that I often walked into interviews thinking that I had to answer all the questions correctly, and say 'yes' to whatever I was asked in order to "win". My goal was to beat out all the competition to obtain this highly coveted thing that is 'the job' - the one that will satisfy my professional thirst and pay all the bills.
What if instead, I put as much effort into discovering if the employer is the right fit for me? I'm not saying to make poor judgments if you are in desperate need of income. We have all had to take a job that wasn't necessarily our favorite thing to do just to make ends meet, and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, we need to humble ourselves during times of struggle. We also have all had to start somewhere. It's called paying your dues, and most of us have to work our way up to what we want, often holding less than glamorous positions along the way.
I'm talking about that point in your career where you have some experience under your belt. The Rolodex (whether physical or virtual) is full, and you have tales of professional victories to share. I find myself in this place and I recently came to a realization about how I tackle job interviews.
As much as they are sizing me up, I need to be sizing them up, too. I will be receiving (hopefully) more pay and better benefits, and opportunities that energize. But, the employer is getting something too. They are getting my experience, my abilities, my unique perspective, drive, and more-than-occasional brilliant epiphany for their use. Let's start seeing the interview process as a two-way street. It's a potential relationship in which both parties have something to offer and something to gain.
It took many years for me to get to this point, and even though it was gradual, when I started thinking about interviews in these terms, my nervousness slowly went away. Instead of "will they like me?" or "Will I do ok?" I now say to myself, "Let's see what they have to say." Again, this is not meant to sound arrogant. It's just about knowing your worth and being confident in what you are bringing to the table.
One of the worst things you can do in an interview is let the potential employer ask all the questions and not have any of your own. Remember: two-way street. You want to learn as much about them, both the company as a whole, and the individuals you will be working with, as they want to learn about you.
Here are some questions I find helpful to ask:
What does a typical day look like? Don't let the salary or the office location five minutes from your house blind you to the fact that you will be doing certain tasks every day, or maybe no two days look alike. Is that something you can handle? Find out.
How long have you been here and what is it about your job that keeps you here? If the interviewers have been there a number of years, have positive things to say about the company, and describe a genuine satisfaction in their work, it's always a good sign - not just about the work you will be doing, but about the overall health of the company.
What is the staff turnover like? This seems like a strange question, but I never realized how important it was to know until I worked for a company whose staff turnover rate was three times the national average for a company its size - three times! To break it down, in the year and couple months I worked there, more than 400 people were hired, and were subsequently fired or walked out. That's a major problem, and is often an indicator of many other problems.
These are just a few questions that help me get a feel for what I would be committing myself to. A new job is a huge decision. Let's not short-change ourselves by not making sure it's a right fit. Employers want to be impressed, but don't get so caught up in proving your worth that you forget - you should be a little impressed, too.
It’s Now
First published August 22, 2015
I was reminded today how important it is to be grateful in whatever season of life we are in, even if it looks different than we imagined it would. I'm too tired to cook today, and I'm grateful there is no one in my life who needs me to. I haven't been sleeping well so I will nap today, and I'm grateful I have the luxury to do so. I really want to figure out this one layout issue I've been having with my blog. Uninterrupted time, I'm all yours.
The lack in one area of my life isn't really lack at all. It's an opportunity to take full advantage of the abundance in another area of my life. Are you looking for or waiting on the perfect season? You're in it! It's now.
If you have to cook today, and don't have the opportunity to nap, and can't get to that project you've been meaning to work on, it's probably because you have people in your life who love you very much and rely on what only you can give - what a blessing that is, too! Let's not get so caught up in what's not quite right that we miss the perfect gift we've been given.
Forget the Past
First published August 17, 2015
The other night I couldn’t sleep. Thoughts kept running through my mind about my job. I took a chance on something I thought would be an amazing opportunity and it ended up being so far from amazing.
If only…
My thoughts keep me awake. I feel restless and anxious. I toss and turn and watch the minutes go by - robbed of my sleep and robbed of my peace.
Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes we miss a deadline. We speak when we should stay quiet. We slack off when we should stay late. Sometimes the mistake affects us on a larger scale. Our title changes, our finances change, and when this happens our life can drastically change. The key is to not let one mistake (even a big one) keep us awake at night.
When I realized the thoughts weren’t going away on their own, I did something we should all do when the night lacks sleep and peace. I quieted myself before God, and I opened His word. If you don’t have the Bible app on your phone, I highly recommend it. Not only does it offer numerous devotionals and studies, but it has this awesome bookmark feature that allows you to save your favorite verses and refer back to them any time.
God showed me a verse I saved months ago in Isaiah (43:18-19)… ‘Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.’
How can I forget about what’s happened? What if it’s more than not receiving credit for a project, or being passed over for a promotion? Can I really leave that situation in the past when I’m still living in its aftermath?
Look at Isaiah 43:16-17. It asks us to hear what God has to say, but first it describes the God we are to listen to: ‘This is what God says, the God who builds a road right through the ocean, who carves a path through pounding waves…’
It’s no accident this description was included. It doesn’t describe God as pointing us to a road leading out of the ocean. It doesn’t say he showed us a path through the waves. No, our God builds and carves.
He creates something out of nothing.
Maybe you’ve made a huge mess out of your career. Maybe it’s not what you thought, and you’re miles away from where you want to be. It was one mistake. It’s one detour. Forget the past – don’t keep going over it and over it in your mind. Any wrong you’ve done can’t cancel out the right He is doing. Remember, God can make something out of nothing, including your career.
Don’t Be Afraid To Love What You Do
First published August 14, 2015
I am different from other women.
I don’t have a husband. I don’t have children. I do have a job, and deadlines, and friends, and free time, and choices to make about how to spend it, and a home I purchased, and a retirement fund.
I have a love for my work, even though that work has changed a lot in the last few years. Work is what energizes me. When it comes to some of the projects I am most proud of, I sound a lot like most women sound when they see a new baby: my voice goes up an octave, and I start clapping and cooing a bit. I have often said that some of my best projects were like children to me, and when I watched them succeed, well, those were like family milestones.
For many years, I let this difference make me feel less-than. I looked at all the other women around me who married young, had multiple babies, and never talked about work, and I felt inferior. I felt un-relatable, and often, unnoticeable. Somehow I didn’t have as much to bring to the table because building a family was seen as time invested, while cultivating a career was seen as time wasted. I couldn’t join the moms group, and I certainly couldn’t join in the conversations they were having. As a result, I thought I had nothing to offer. How could I relate or make a difference when I was so different from everyone around me?
And then it hit me. I couldn’t.
But maybe that’s the point. Maybe I’m not meant to reach this vast group of women who trade DIY project instructions, and swap clothes every time another child is born. Maybe, just maybe, I need to look past what is directly in front of me, and see what is beyond me. There could be others out there who are different, too. Maybe I was meant to be different on purpose.
Psalm 139: 13-15 says: For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
I was hand-stitched in a dimension no one but God could see. He knew what He was doing when He wove together the drive I have for discipline in my work. He foresaw my passion for projects. He wrote the codes that make me perk up when ideas go from brainstorming to fruition, and I can hold them in my hand. Notice what that verse does not say. It doesn’t say, “I hide the woman I am because I’m not like the others.” Notice it doesn’t say, “I keep to myself until I’m exactly like the other women.” It says that I praise you because of how I am made. It says God’s works are wonderful! I should know that full well!
It’s true that being different can be difficult. I often feel like people don’t know quite what to do with me. Or what to say. They will talk to me about the season (“So how’s your summer going?”) or ask me how my house is. It’s still standing, so that’s good. But, somehow, conversation never goes past that. It’s as if without a family of my own, there’s nothing else really to say.
But I have a lot to say.
The truth is, work is important to me, and I want to talk about it. I’m not saying that work should be your number one priority. I certainly learned the hard way what happens when you place career above all else. But what happens if you don’t have a family of your own yet? Would it be right to ignore a prompt to move in a certain direction professionally simply because you’re waiting for life events to fall into place personally? Are family matters the only ones worth having dialogues about?
I’ve had the opportunity to try and do so many things that I love in other areas of my life. Yes, it may look different, but they are still things I enjoy discussing. I’ve taken chances with jobs – some have worked out better than others, but there are lessons to share and stories to tell. I love to bake, so I started selling cupcakes. I love to write so I turned my journal into a blog.
But I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve been told by a woman that work can’t define me, and then her “About” page describes her as a wife and mother. So in essence, she defines herself by roles she has assumed thanks to someone else. She is defining herself by things she is passionate about; it’s just different than my passion.
Does a woman stop being a mother during the hours her child is in school? I wonder what would happen if I told a friend (which I never would, by the way) that she couldn’t talk about her child between the hours of 9 am and 3 pm because technically, she’s off the clock. Pretty ridiculous, right? A woman doesn’t stop being a mom because her child is in a different location. I don’t stop being a professional because it’s Saturday and not Tuesday. Yes, I take a break, and I love my downtime, but doing what I do will always be a part of me.
Would I love to be married? Absolutely. Children? It would be an honor. But right now, there are other loves that have been placed on my heart, and I want to feel free in celebrating them.
If you’re passionate about your work, stay that way! Embrace who you are in Him, and praise Him for the way He made you. Someone else out there feels the exact same way. Don’t stop talking about what you love to do. And if you avoid discussing what you love, you need to start. Tell anyone who will listen. If you feel called to lead, or speak, or teach, or write, do it with all your heart! Don’t silence your voice because it sounds different. Different might just be what someone else needs to see and hear.
The world could use a few more women who aren’t afraid to love what they do!
My Harshest Critic
First published August 11, 2015
I had the awesome opportunity to attend the She Speaks conference at the end of July, and I can’t say enough good things about it. Whether a writer or a speaker, this two-day event was designed to help you become better. Lysa Terkeurst and team did an amazing job. I laughed. I learned. One thing I didn’t do was leave the same person I was when I arrived.
For almost a year-and-a-half, I allowed a critic, and a harsh one at that, be the voice – the only voice – that got in my head and tore me down. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, I did was ever good enough. And because I allowed my work to define me, her voice is what shaped me. But, while she might have been the person who signed my evaluations, she was not the God who justified my existence.
In the two short days I spent at She Speaks, I felt more encouraged, more uplifted, and more validated than I felt in a really long time. So what made the difference?
The voice I listened to.
From the early morning worship sessions to the last closing prayer, I was surrounded by voices preaching from their hearts, speaking life into my ideas, and creating an atmosphere where God could be present. But I can’t let this atmosphere just be something I experience in a conference setting. I need to daily surround myself with what He thinks and says about me.
There will always be voices that speak negatively. There will always be someone tearing us down instead of building us up. There will always be critics. When work is such a huge part of who you are, it’s hard not to take it personally. Aligning your thoughts with God’s heart towards you will help silence those voices, and allow you to rise up to the level where He created you to succeed.
I don’t need to be at a conference to open my bible, and I certainly don’t need to hop on a plane to worship or hear the word of God. I just need to let the voice of my harshest critic be drowned out by the voice of God, who in a whisper, can speak more encouragement over me that I could ever possibly imagine!