The Interview
First published August 26, 2015
Oh, the job interview. The search for the ideal work combined with just the right benefits and an oh-so-perfect salary that finally leads to an in-person meeting. What we put ourselves through in order to stand out in the crowd. We tweak our resume to highlight the experience and accomplishments that match the job description. We craft a cover letter that shines a spotlight on our incredible abilities. We smile and say all the right things. We're friendly, but not too familiar.
And then come the questions designed to determine if we are the right fit. The interesting thing about this is that I often walked into interviews thinking that I had to answer all the questions correctly, and say 'yes' to whatever I was asked in order to "win". My goal was to beat out all the competition to obtain this highly coveted thing that is 'the job' - the one that will satisfy my professional thirst and pay all the bills.
What if instead, I put as much effort into discovering if the employer is the right fit for me? I'm not saying to make poor judgments if you are in desperate need of income. We have all had to take a job that wasn't necessarily our favorite thing to do just to make ends meet, and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, we need to humble ourselves during times of struggle. We also have all had to start somewhere. It's called paying your dues, and most of us have to work our way up to what we want, often holding less than glamorous positions along the way.
I'm talking about that point in your career where you have some experience under your belt. The Rolodex (whether physical or virtual) is full, and you have tales of professional victories to share. I find myself in this place and I recently came to a realization about how I tackle job interviews.
As much as they are sizing me up, I need to be sizing them up, too. I will be receiving (hopefully) more pay and better benefits, and opportunities that energize. But, the employer is getting something too. They are getting my experience, my abilities, my unique perspective, drive, and more-than-occasional brilliant epiphany for their use. Let's start seeing the interview process as a two-way street. It's a potential relationship in which both parties have something to offer and something to gain.
It took many years for me to get to this point, and even though it was gradual, when I started thinking about interviews in these terms, my nervousness slowly went away. Instead of "will they like me?" or "Will I do ok?" I now say to myself, "Let's see what they have to say." Again, this is not meant to sound arrogant. It's just about knowing your worth and being confident in what you are bringing to the table.
One of the worst things you can do in an interview is let the potential employer ask all the questions and not have any of your own. Remember: two-way street. You want to learn as much about them, both the company as a whole, and the individuals you will be working with, as they want to learn about you.
Here are some questions I find helpful to ask:
What does a typical day look like? Don't let the salary or the office location five minutes from your house blind you to the fact that you will be doing certain tasks every day, or maybe no two days look alike. Is that something you can handle? Find out.
How long have you been here and what is it about your job that keeps you here? If the interviewers have been there a number of years, have positive things to say about the company, and describe a genuine satisfaction in their work, it's always a good sign - not just about the work you will be doing, but about the overall health of the company.
What is the staff turnover like? This seems like a strange question, but I never realized how important it was to know until I worked for a company whose staff turnover rate was three times the national average for a company its size - three times! To break it down, in the year and couple months I worked there, more than 400 people were hired, and were subsequently fired or walked out. That's a major problem, and is often an indicator of many other problems.
These are just a few questions that help me get a feel for what I would be committing myself to. A new job is a huge decision. Let's not short-change ourselves by not making sure it's a right fit. Employers want to be impressed, but don't get so caught up in proving your worth that you forget - you should be a little impressed, too.
Don’t Be Afraid To Love What You Do
First published August 14, 2015
I am different from other women.
I don’t have a husband. I don’t have children. I do have a job, and deadlines, and friends, and free time, and choices to make about how to spend it, and a home I purchased, and a retirement fund.
I have a love for my work, even though that work has changed a lot in the last few years. Work is what energizes me. When it comes to some of the projects I am most proud of, I sound a lot like most women sound when they see a new baby: my voice goes up an octave, and I start clapping and cooing a bit. I have often said that some of my best projects were like children to me, and when I watched them succeed, well, those were like family milestones.
For many years, I let this difference make me feel less-than. I looked at all the other women around me who married young, had multiple babies, and never talked about work, and I felt inferior. I felt un-relatable, and often, unnoticeable. Somehow I didn’t have as much to bring to the table because building a family was seen as time invested, while cultivating a career was seen as time wasted. I couldn’t join the moms group, and I certainly couldn’t join in the conversations they were having. As a result, I thought I had nothing to offer. How could I relate or make a difference when I was so different from everyone around me?
And then it hit me. I couldn’t.
But maybe that’s the point. Maybe I’m not meant to reach this vast group of women who trade DIY project instructions, and swap clothes every time another child is born. Maybe, just maybe, I need to look past what is directly in front of me, and see what is beyond me. There could be others out there who are different, too. Maybe I was meant to be different on purpose.
Psalm 139: 13-15 says: For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
I was hand-stitched in a dimension no one but God could see. He knew what He was doing when He wove together the drive I have for discipline in my work. He foresaw my passion for projects. He wrote the codes that make me perk up when ideas go from brainstorming to fruition, and I can hold them in my hand. Notice what that verse does not say. It doesn’t say, “I hide the woman I am because I’m not like the others.” Notice it doesn’t say, “I keep to myself until I’m exactly like the other women.” It says that I praise you because of how I am made. It says God’s works are wonderful! I should know that full well!
It’s true that being different can be difficult. I often feel like people don’t know quite what to do with me. Or what to say. They will talk to me about the season (“So how’s your summer going?”) or ask me how my house is. It’s still standing, so that’s good. But, somehow, conversation never goes past that. It’s as if without a family of my own, there’s nothing else really to say.
But I have a lot to say.
The truth is, work is important to me, and I want to talk about it. I’m not saying that work should be your number one priority. I certainly learned the hard way what happens when you place career above all else. But what happens if you don’t have a family of your own yet? Would it be right to ignore a prompt to move in a certain direction professionally simply because you’re waiting for life events to fall into place personally? Are family matters the only ones worth having dialogues about?
I’ve had the opportunity to try and do so many things that I love in other areas of my life. Yes, it may look different, but they are still things I enjoy discussing. I’ve taken chances with jobs – some have worked out better than others, but there are lessons to share and stories to tell. I love to bake, so I started selling cupcakes. I love to write so I turned my journal into a blog.
But I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve been told by a woman that work can’t define me, and then her “About” page describes her as a wife and mother. So in essence, she defines herself by roles she has assumed thanks to someone else. She is defining herself by things she is passionate about; it’s just different than my passion.
Does a woman stop being a mother during the hours her child is in school? I wonder what would happen if I told a friend (which I never would, by the way) that she couldn’t talk about her child between the hours of 9 am and 3 pm because technically, she’s off the clock. Pretty ridiculous, right? A woman doesn’t stop being a mom because her child is in a different location. I don’t stop being a professional because it’s Saturday and not Tuesday. Yes, I take a break, and I love my downtime, but doing what I do will always be a part of me.
Would I love to be married? Absolutely. Children? It would be an honor. But right now, there are other loves that have been placed on my heart, and I want to feel free in celebrating them.
If you’re passionate about your work, stay that way! Embrace who you are in Him, and praise Him for the way He made you. Someone else out there feels the exact same way. Don’t stop talking about what you love to do. And if you avoid discussing what you love, you need to start. Tell anyone who will listen. If you feel called to lead, or speak, or teach, or write, do it with all your heart! Don’t silence your voice because it sounds different. Different might just be what someone else needs to see and hear.
The world could use a few more women who aren’t afraid to love what they do!